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Singing & Snapchats

March 10, 2023

Me and Katie

I am self-employed as a piano teacher and songwriter. A few weeks ago, I went in to my boss’ office and asked for a two-week medical leave of absence. She said it was okay. 😂

She gave me a two-week extension, which started four days ago on March 6.

While I’m trying to figure out why my health has gone down the toilet, I’ve been dealing with the emotional aspect of it as well.

I think I have a bit of cancer PTSD going on, and I was only partly kidding when I said that I’m going to have an eating disorder by the time this is all over.

I hem and haw about what I eat all the time. “Is this going to make me have 12 hours of agony again? Did I have another episode because I ate part of that avocado? Maybe I shouldn’t have had that homemade tomato-based soup. Is popcorn good or bad for me?”

I’ve actually had an eating disorder before, back when I was dealing with trauma in my past: anorexia and bulimia. Not a place I want to visit again. 🥺

I will need to make a few extra appointments with my naturopath to be “debriefed,” so to speak, by the time I’m through with all this malarkey.

In the meantime, I’m trying to focus on the positive. Spent Saturday singing with this girl. We sang together for four hours. And, took a break for some Snapchat poses. 😎

About Marie de Haan

Marie is a gifted pianist, playing since the age of nine. As a teenager, she composed mainly instrumental piano music. She released her powerful debut single, “I Am Broken,” on October 22, 2020, a song whose creation drew heavily upon the trauma she endured as a victim of childhood sexual abuse. Marie held a benefit concert on September 10, 2021, in Skagit County. A portion of the proceeds went to CrossRoads Youth Ranch; this local organization—through equine therapy—empowers “at-risk and sexually exploited youth to heal, grow, and thrive.” She has continued to write music: Christian, folk, and country. Marie loves hiking, gardening, and photography. The Pacific Northwest—where she lives with her husband—is the backdrop for her favorite activities.