About Marie de Haan

Marie is an accomplished writer, songwriter, and speaker.

She has written two memoirs in a series entitled Cancer Is A Funny Thing. The books—in addition to a cancer blog—relate how Marie endured a devastating diagnosis of breast cancer with her characteristic grace and humor.

Marie is a gifted pianist, playing since the age of nine. She is currently a member of her local church’s praise band. She released her powerful debut single, “I Am Broken,” on October 22, 2020, a song whose creation drew heavily upon the trauma she endured as a victim of childhood sexual abuse.

Marie continued her story by writing “Turmoil” and “Weep” which were both released in April 2021.

She premiered three new songs at a benefit concert held September 10, 2021, in Skagit County. A portion of the proceeds went to CrossRoads Youth Ranch; this local organization—through equine therapy—empowers “at-risk and sexually exploited youth to heal, grow, and thrive.”

“A Story of Reclamation,” an EP which includes all six songs, was released on November 19, 2021.

This Sunday evening, at 6 o’clock, May 15, 2022, Marie will premiere her latest song, “Rely On Me,” and give a short testimony. This worship night is free to the public and will be held at CTK Skagit.

Marie loves hiking, gardening, and photography. The Pacific Northwest—where she lives with her husband—is the backdrop for her favorite activities.

Marie de Haan
Marie de Haan sitting alone in a field
Marie de Haan standing near a tree in a field
Marie de Haan standing in a field

Songs

I Am Broken Album Cover

I Am Broken

Listen Now

I Am Broken (Extended Version)

I Am Broken (Extended Version)

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Turmoil

Turmoil

Listen Now

Weep

Weep

Listen Now

A Story of Reclamation Cover

I Will Give You Praise

A Story of Reclamation Cover

Gonna Live My Life

A Story of Reclamation Cover

Forever Changed

Books

Photos

Leaving for Nashville next week so I’m thinking I should probably a) finish my latest song and b) come up with a better title. 😂

#songwriterlife
Thankful to this group of people who a) put in a lot of hours practicing music and working on the tech side of things, b) encouraged me every step of the way, c) cried while I did my testimony, d) tolerated my picture-taking 😏, and e) love Jesus.

#blessedbeyondmeasure
Did a little impromptu songwriting with this great friend tonight. Lots of laughing and singing: two of my favorite things.

#wearepartyanimals
#musicmakestheworldgoround
Every year, on this date, I like to post a picture or two and "take stock" of my life, so to speak.

It's been 13 years since I heard those words, "Maria, you have advanced cancer." The way the doctors (six of them!) were talking back then, I figured I'd be dead within six months.

I celebrated today by going to church, sharing a box of Milk Duds with Ken (who's been by my side through thick and thin❤️) while we played a card game, and taking a five-hour nap. What can I say? It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Why was I so tired? Beats me. Guess it was that four hours of driving and non-stop singing I did yesterday on my return solo road trip. 😂

Live life to the fullest, y'all. 

#cancercansuckit
#praiseGodfromwhomallblessingsflow
Well, I’m 45 minutes away from my destination.

I’m still alive (which is always a plus 😏); having fun taking bad selfies to send to the husband because I’m sure he misses me dreadfully already; trying to avoid rattlesnakes (because getting bitten by one of those suckers would really put a damper on my day 😂); and yes, of course, I’ve been singing at the top of my lungs the whole way (duh). 

#roadtripsarethebest
Well, I didn’t get very far. 🤷‍♀️

It took me 15 minutes to figure out how to make the iPod not stay on an endless loop of “Love in the First Degree” by Alabama. 

As much as I like that song, I do not want to hear it 527 times before I get to Sunnyside. 😂
Hopping in the car in a few minutes for my first solo road trip. I am a bit freaked out, to be honest. But I really want to visit my friend, so I’m going to squish my fear and carry on.

In good news, I see four straight hours of singing in my immediate future. 😂 

#friendsarethebest
#musicmakestheworldgoround
I’m heading into the recording studio in about an hour. 

I’ve got my music binder and my lucky socks. What more could I need? Oh yeah, a supportive husband who a) takes all these ridiculous pictures, b) pays for all my dreams, and c) is my biggest fan. Got that, too. ❤️

As usual, there will be crying. 😭 

#blessedbeyondmeasure
#songwriterlife
I can't believe it's been six years since I posted publicly for the first time about my traumatic past. Six years.

So much has happened since then; I can hardly contain my amazement at how God has worked in my life. 😭 Three trips to Nashville and six songs to tell my story via music. 

If you have experienced abuse in your past or if you are contemplating suicide, I beg you to reach out to someone close to you: there is hope.

https://www.cancerisafunnything.com/letter-21-to-my-benefactor
Had such a great morning at church.

Took an impromptu selfie with this beautiful person—beautiful inside and out—because as I told her, “Hey, we match.” 😊

I met her on praise team and look forward to many more years of music and friendship with her. ❤️

#contented
#friendsarethebest
Singing. Spaghetti. Selfies.

My stomach still hurts from all the laughing we did.

#musicmakestheworldgoround
#laughtermakestheworldgoround
What? Play music for six hours straight, except for the tea-and-rhubarb-muffin break? Yes, please.

#songwriterlife
#musicmakestheworldgoround
I’ve been in worship ministry for over 40 years.

I’ve played an old, clunkety upright; I’ve played a small organ; I’ve played a pipe organ; I’ve played a Steinway; I’ve played digital pianos in full-on bands. What a privilege.

When I started playing for church, I was young. Don’t remember exactly how old, but what I do remember is that often, one particular parishioner would pounce on me right after the benediction and say, “You played way too fast.” Almost without fail, in the same service, another man would tell me in his thick Dutch accent, “Yah, Maria, beautiful.” They can’t both be right.

The overriding criticism I am told, however—from well-meaning people—is that I look mad and don’t smile enough when I’m up on the stage.

Here’s the thing: I’m not mad at all. I’m excited. On fire. Living my passion. Praising Jesus.

That being said, sometimes, I arrive to warm up with the band, and I feel great. I’m giddy. Five minutes into the church service, my celiac pain hits like a ton of bricks and is so intense, I cannot move. Not only can I not smile right then, I’m doing everything in my power not to blurt out a certain favorite barnyard word. 😏🐄

Sometimes, I am concentrating on the music fully so that you can worship freely.

Sometimes, I’m standing at the keyboard with my full weight on my left foot so I can control the sustain pedal with my right foot, and the next thing I know, my left butt cheek has gone numb. I’m still heartily singing backup (because it’s one of my favorite things to do), but I’m also starting to panic, “Hmm, I hope my legs don’t buckle beneath me and I tumble down the stairs for good measure on my way to the pews.” The fear is real, people.

What am I trying to say? God gave me a talent. I’m not a performer. I’m not self-confident. But what I am is jumping for joy on the inside because I am a child of God and I get to play music for Him.
 
#grateful
Yup, still doing my month-long, birthday-party celebrating. You can do that when you've had the death sentence of cancer handed to you in your lifetime.

Then again, shouldn't we all celebrate our birthdays for a month? Life is a precious gift, indeed.

I rushed home from a great lunch with this great friend to teach a piano lesson to a delightful little girl who told her mom once, "This flower is perfect for Miss Marie because we have bonded over flowers, cats, and piano." Adorable.

Then, on to praise team practice where I got to play music for Jesus. 

#cancercansuckit 
#blessedbeyondmeasure
#musicmakestheworldgoround
One song. That’s all I was going to do. I composed “I Am Broken” back in 2018 for myself in response to trauma in my life.

The next thing I know, I’ve traveled to Nashville three times in the space of a year. Acted in a music video. Cranked out five more songs. Did a benefit concert in September. Released an EP and a bunch of lyric videos shortly thereafter.

I told myself, “That’s it. I don’t think I can come up with anything else.”

Besides, why would God want to use a damaged-goods person like me? 

In October, I wrote another song. Loved the title. Loved the chorus. Loved the bridge. Did a little hemming and hawing over the verses. But mostly second-guessed myself for two whole months: “That lyric isn’t perfect. That part sounds choppy. Surely no one wants to hear what I have to say.” 

This morning, I took a leap of faith and prepared for my meeting with a fellow songwriter. I went to the computer, tweaked a few things here and there, and jetted off to his office with my music in hand. Within one hour, all my doubts were gone. We were talking over each other, playing piano over each other, and I generally just could not stop smiling.

#songwriterlife
#blessedbeyondmeasure

Contact

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