About Marie de Haan

Marie is a gifted pianist, playing since the age of nine. As a teenager, she composed mainly instrumental piano music.

She released her powerful debut single, “I Am Broken,” on October 22, 2020, a song whose creation drew heavily upon the trauma she endured as a victim of childhood sexual abuse.

Marie held a benefit concert on September 10, 2021, in Skagit County. A portion of the proceeds went to CrossRoads Youth Ranch; this local organization—through equine therapy—empowers “at-risk and sexually exploited youth to heal, grow, and thrive.”

“A Story of Reclamation,” an EP which includes her first six songs, was released on November 19, 2021.

On May 15, 2022, Marie premiered “Rely On Me” at her church and gave a short testimony. This song released on July 8, 2022.

“I Wear Your Crown” came out on September 2, 2022, with “I’ll Carry You” following on November 24, 2022.

Marie loves hiking, gardening, and photography. The Pacific Northwest—where she lives with her husband—is the backdrop for her favorite activities.

Marie de Haan
Marie de Haan sitting alone in a field
Marie de Haan standing near a tree in a field
Marie de Haan standing in a field




The two things I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday (which was January 9) this year were a) go for a hike with this guy on January 14, and b) see the "Jesus Revolution" movie when it came out.

The hike never happened. Instead, I hiked my bahookie over to the ER and spent 7 hours staring at the ceiling as they ran all kinds of tests trying to eliminate heart attack, pulmonary embolism, and pneumonia as the reason for my visit.

It's been a long, grueling two months of follow-up doctor appointments, a colonoscopy, an EGD, more "episodes," and second opinions.

Last night, after my last piano student of the day, we went to Red Robin (which was a bonus 😉) to split a burger and fries, got a box of Milk Duds (which I've been craving for weeks), and saw the movie.

Next, we need to do our hike. And probably not buy any more Milk Duds. 😂

Back in August, a friend of mine gave me a $100 gift card to a local nursery to buy something in "honor of my mom."

On Thursday, I hopped in the car with another friend and ended up with: 1 pine, 3 Leyland cypresses, 1 andromeda, and 8 perennial primroses.

So far, 3 of the primroses have found their permanent home. The rest are still waiting. 😎

What I wanted to do last Saturday: take a nap.

What I did instead: put on my Carharrt coveralls and helped the husband replant about 250 Solomon's seal plants in that flowerbed by my feet.

I am self-employed as a piano teacher and songwriter. A few weeks ago, I went in to my boss' office and asked for a two-week medical leave of absence. She said it was okay. 😂

She gave me a two-week extension, starting on March 6.

While I'm trying to figure out why my health has gone down the toilet, I've been dealing with the emotional aspect of it as well.

I think I have a bit of cancer PTSD going on, and I was only partly kidding when I said that I'm going to have an eating disorder by the time this is all over.

I hem and haw about what I eat all the time. "Is this going to make me have 12 hours of agony again? Did I have another episode because I ate part of that avocado? Maybe I shouldn't have had that homemade tomato-based soup. Is popcorn good or bad for me?"

I've actually had an eating disorder before, back when I was dealing with trauma in my past: anorexia and bulimia. Not a place I want to visit again. 🥺

I will need to make a few extra appointments with my naturopath to be "debriefed," so to speak, by the time I'm through with all this malarkey.

In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on the positive. Spent Saturday singing with this girl. We sang together for four hours. And, obviously took a break for some Snapchat poses.😎

People keep asking me if I "got my test results back" yet. They are referring to the colonoscopy/EGD I had done on February 23. I was told that it would be 7-10 days until I received the results.

Well, it's been two weeks as of today and when I finally went looking in my inbox a few days back, there was an email advising me that my "chart" had been updated. On February 24.
First of all, I figured the doc would call me. Good grief, the guy went poking around where people shouldn't be poking around. 😉The least he could do is tell me what he came up with. 😂

He also did ten biopsies. TEN. Going in, I was only told about one and that was at my request. "Hey, guy, can you re-stage my celiac?" That would explain why I felt like I got hit by a Mack truck after my procedure for days on end.

Second of all, in looking over that pathology report...yeah, I might as well be reading Greek. Or Latin.
In the meantime, the pericarditis (swelling of the sac around the heart...Google it 😂) seems to be less intense. Instead of lasting for 12 hours like before, the "episodes" seem to be lasting about 4 hours. Of course, I'm shooting for having them go away altogether.

While I'm wading through all this medical crap, I'm trying to concentrate on the good things in life. Yesterday, I went to Best Buy and Office Depot with a friend so that I can make my music studio a bit more efficient.

I think I just might have a few more songs left in me. 🎵🎶🎵

See that "Nashville Notebook" there?

Me and this girl are going to take that to Tennessee.

Don't know when.
Don't know how.

I just know it's gonna happen.🎵🎶🎵

There seems to be some confusion about my last post. 🤷‍♀️

When I said that I had had "enough of this crap" and "January and February sucked..." and then mentioned I was going to "look forward to spring," I was not talking about the weather. I was talking figuratively.

Wouldn't be the first time I've been misunderstood, I guess. 😉

I was saying that I was sick of my health problems (that started on my birthday, January 9). I was saying--indirectly--that I'm trying to gather my mental faculties about me and snap out of this little hiccup in my life.

Like I said in that last post, I'm going to dream about going to Marina again someday--one of my favorite places in the world-- and I'm going to live my life to the fullest like I usually do.🌷
This picture I took in Marina, CA several years ago showed up in my FB memories today. I wish I was there now, sitting on the beach looking out at the water, instead of lying on the couch (not bouncing back like I should be after the colonoscopy/EGD procedure I had almost a week ago).

I sound like a whiny pee-pants, but here's what I'm really thinking.

It's the first day of March. In my mind, that's close enough to the first day of spring.😂 I've had enough of this crap. January and February sucked. Time to look forward to spring and dream about the next time I can go to Marina again and live my life to the fullest like I usually do.

Last February 26, I was heading into the music studio to record "Rely On Me."

Today, I'm walking around in tons of pain because of the colonoscopy/EDG I had done on Thursday to figure out what the heck is wrong with me.

I think I pick the music studio over the hospital any day. 😂

All joking aside--I've told way too many poop stories and probably hit my record of excessive posting on Facebook the day before my colonoscopy😂--I had another episode from 7:00 last night to 7:00 this morning. I'm pretty sure things didn't go well as midway through the night, I said to my husband, "I want to go to heaven."

I'm not trying to be melodramatic. I'm not looking for sympathy.

I'm simply saying, I think I've hit rock bottom.🥺

Please don't take it personally when I don't answer your texts or messages or posts. They are greatly appreciated.

In good news, I have two songs finished and waiting to be recorded in Nashville. 🤩

The other great news is, this guy played two games of Catan with me today. He's a good boy. ❤️
What I want to be doing: Going out to dinner with my son like I did six years ago to celebrate my 50th (with soup and salad at Olive Garden followed by the movie "Lion").

What I'm doing instead: Waiting for 4:30 a.m. to roll around so I can take my icky prep stuff for the colonoscopy and endoscopy that are happening around noon today.

What a difference six years makes, eh? I turned into a little old lady.

Treasure life to the fullest, y'all.
Doing my colonoscopy/endoscopy prep today while Ken--the meanyhead😂--is eating spaghetti, homemade cornbread, salad, and all kinds of other yummy food.

I'm holing up in my office so that I don't smell any food or make eye contact with the fridge. I only pop out once in a while to drink beef broth or peppermint tea.

Composing all day, it is.😉

Two years ago, I went to Nashville with a friend to record "Turmoil" and "Weep." While we were there, we went to Belmont University and walked around the campus in the snow.

I used to be envious of people that got to go to college. I didn't have the money for that when I was 18. (I wanted to become a naturopathic doctor.) Instead, I worked. And worked. First the local cheese company, and then insurance.

I quit the insurance business once kid #2 showed up and started teaching piano lessons instead.

My naturopath jokingly and lovingly calls me "Doctor Maria" whenever I see her. She tells me how intuitive I am when it comes to medical stuff. In fact, just the other day (at my second appointment with her in less than a month because of all these issues I've been having), she encouraged me to go to college now if that's what I want.

Here's the thing. While I love health and all that--would love to have my own restored right now ha ha--I was meant to write books and songs.
It's as simple as that.

Two loads of laundry✅
Finished rough draft of song #12✅
Mostly finished rough draft of song #13✅
Organized my music studio✅
Picked the first bouquet of the year✅

All in all: a good day, I'd say. 🌷🌷🌷

Usually these attacks hit me in the dead of night: 3:00 a.m. seems to be the average. Why then? Beats me.

Just starting another one...been building up to it all day.
I feel like throwing things. 😭

Instead, I'm going to listen to the demo recording I made the other night (after my last attack) of my latest song--sung by two dear friends❤️--and I'm going to cling to those words that I penned back before this all started.

Several of you have reached out and I appreciate it. When I don't answer you like I customarily do, please please please do not take it personally. I just don't have the energy to talk/explain.

Now to listen to the song on an endless loop. 😉


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